October in Avery's Garden, Day 3: Grief Fighter Kit
Grief. It hits at any time and anywhere. Grief is one of the most difficult emotions to handle because the severity can also range based on what triggers you encoutered. Grief Fighter Kits are things that you can keep with you that allow a pause from life to sit with grief. I believe in allowing yourself full permission to feel your emotions. If your sad and need to cry, then cry. Cry hard. And don't apologize. If your angry in your grief, scream. Yell at your worries and do it without regret.
Being proactive in knowing yourself and preparing for hard days will help. Early on in my grief I can remember specific items that I carried with me often. Some I still use over 2 years layer. Avery's pictures, his mass card, the necklace his ashes are encapsulated in.... all things that are in my grief fighter kit.
So, let's talk about some items that helped me.
Tissue, Tissue and more tissue. Grief is going to hit, and when it does it will also bring tears. Why? Because we are sad. Grief hurts. And tissue will obviously help you dry those aching tears. Buy something soft, even tissues that are cooling or help with essential oils will aid in healing. I bought cooling tissues a few times and it offered a cool relief to my face as I allowed myself time with my hurt.
Do you have keepsake items that you can carry with you? I use Avery's necklace almost like a shield of protection on the more difficult days. Some families in our community find comfort in teddy bears, photos, mass cards, poems, prayer beads, baby clothing items, jewelry...the list is endless. Find what heals you and add it to the kit!
FInd comfort in the elements:
In my grief fighter kit is the connection I feel Avery in with nature. No, it's not a tangible thing I can carry in my purse for example, but it is a feeling...and that is just as powerful! When I am in deep hurt, I go outside. I walk with the wind, I sit with the sounds of birds. I go closer to water, ponds, rivers, etc. Know your happy place, and make it YOUR place with your angel. If you are comforted by the waves of the ocean, go there! Be at peace with the Earth.
Find an outlet:
Most of you know by now that a HUGE part of my healing comes from art. Creative grief is one thing that I can honestly say has saved me. Find a way to turn the pain into beauty. Paint, color, write, garden, draw, cook....just create something. Some say grief is love with nowhere to go. Well, I say love is grief that found a new purpose.