Memory clothing keepsakes
A few days back I had an opportunity to speak with a friend who recently lost someone very dear. A soulmate that suddenly passed away. In taking some of the words she had spoken I started to sit with her in this grief and attempt to wrap my mind around what she was going through.
We often here the phrase in death “I can’t even imagine” but for me, I needed to imagine her pain to try to find ways in which I may be able to help. So, for days I have in a sense put myself into ways I would be coping, if at all.
One thing that stood out is the all too common need to start going through personal belongings of the deceased love one quickly and ridding items such as clothing.
I personally think as humans we do this for a few reasons.
For social pressure to move on or forwards.
Compartmentalizing our grief. Perhaps if I put my loved ones belongings here it won’t hurt anymore.
The impression that getting rid of items helps bring closure.
We don’t want the reminders…although our heart doesn't want to let go and say goodbye.
And those are just a few…
So what do we do with a closet filled with clothes? A dresser full of memories? Discarding, packing, donating and so on does solidify the loss and in my opinion can often compound the grief if we are not ready for that step.
So what do we do. I can tell you after three years of grief in child loss, I still have a box of clothing meant only for Avery. And…I always will. I whole heartedly believe it to be normal.
I found some creative grieving solutions that can be used for some of the clothing that we can turn into keepsakes. Universal at all stages of loss whether it is a child or adult.
So let’s discuss this.
For those in the pregnancy and infant loss community, some have seen and even made teddy bears from old baby clothes. These are comforting and can be used to fill empty arms. They also make great keepsakes to add to photos or to pass down to future children.
Next, for those with larger clothing, there are keepsake memory pillows. You can use any fabric you wish, and add the pillow to a couch, chair, or bed. These are inconspicuous reminders that the person's memory does not need to leave your home. Some may also choose to have the pillow weighted heavier to cuddle with as a gentle reminder of the loved one.
Next, one that I absolutely love, are fabric bracelets that can be made by knotting old tshirt strips together. When Avery passed, I had a necklace made of his ashes and that keepsake meant everything during my initial healing. This is an item that can be worn as a reminder that carrying your loved one with your heart is healthy and a part of life after loss.
We can also take fabric strips to make boho themed jewelry. Add some bead work and you have an artistic statement piece! This can be an amazing caveat to starting a healthy conversation about death and the lost loved one.
For those that still are looking for more ways to incorporate fabrics into their homes, old shirts and denim can be cut and used to make baskets and storage containers. Repurposing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means taking what hurts and turning it into something beautiful.
These adorable fabric angels are absolutely gorgeous and can be a great community project for the whole family. Each family member can pick out a favorite article of clothing and everyone cuts strips to turn into angels. As each person completes and angel they can talk about a favorite past time with the loved one.
And finally, fabric wreaths can welcome others into your home and give it a presence that it is watched over and protected by the loved one. Again, an inconspicuous way to remember the sweet memories shared. These fabric strips are cut and knotted around a metal wreath frame and can even become a way to create new seasonal home decor when you are in need of creative grieving.
Be well, friends.
Love,
Tara xo