October in Avery's Garden, Day 5: Pen P.A.I.L.s

Dear Avery,

 Hello my sweet angel, it's your Mommy. I hope Heaven is beautiful and that you are spending time with all of your friends and family. I see your signs everywhere, sweet boy, and I wanted to say thank you for making sure I remember how much you love me. All of the feathers, rainbow clouds, cardinal chirps and number signs certainly get my attention. My favorite will always be your cardinal birds. When they are near I can't help but smile and am so glad you used them to get my attention. 

 Your garden was beautiful this year. All of the flowers bloomed so full and bright. It brings me so much comfort and I feel your connection each time I sit with your flowers. Your angel statue continues to give me inspiration and we even added a few other decorative items. 

I miss you, Avery. And I wish more than anything that I could have been your Mommy on Earth. I will always wish you here above anything else. At first, I didn't know how to be your Mommy. As a first time Mom I had an even bigger challenge because I had to learn to mother you from Earth to Sky. It was a challenge, and I was met with my own hurdles, but I pushed through. I pushed through all the stereotypes and stigma for YOU. And I always will. I hope you know you give me strength, Avery. You were little, but left the biggest impact on my life. And Mommy will always be thankful. 

Mommy has met a lot of your angel friends on this journey. They are all so so special and I hope you remember to tell them that from time to time. Do they sit with you when you visit me? Or do you comfort them when they are sending signs to their own Mommies and Daddies?   I sure hope so. 

Mommy is waiting to hear back for your Not-for-profit application that was filed. I hope one day you will see your tree house from Heaven in all it's bright glory. Until then, I continue to honor you in all my heARTwork. Do you like your coloring books, my sweet angel? Do you ever color with your friends? I like to imagine that you do. Someday, I will sit with families in your tree house and will comfort them in their grief journeys. I will show them what it is like to grieve creatively  in hopes to shine the same light you have bestowed upon me. 

I love you, Avery. I always have and always will. You are my baby, my angel and my muse, and when we are finally together I will spend eternity showering you with more love and affection that the night sky will burn that much brighter . 

Always Yours,

Mommy xo